Wound

after all the willfulness and stubborn
indulgence myself for an hour
dream myself in sad for few day
even all the test is not did well
and then face the pain and hard
the thing i most scare in my life
is that all enough for me to recover?

the hand now is paralysis since yesterday
is feel like is not belong to me and not my hand
is was not painful like yesterday
the small wound prove me yesterday was happened
when touch on it is still pain harder
it call back all my memory that all happened is so clear
that all is was not a dream and it really happened just......
may be my mind is not believe on it and try to lie to myself

my life here is like numb, lose, and confused
its make me is different from the real of myself
lose of direction, everything is so mess and uncontrollable
the wound remind me everything that i am not accepted yet
is just like a dream~~~~
should be the time to wake up and make decision