Contradictions

contradictions is surrounding recently
don't know what is the problem is....
the calm of the heart lake is distributed
but still cannot get the fact that cause this
thinking and thinking...
still cannot get know what make the contradictions
that serious influence in sleep....
thinking and thinking...
exam?coffee? stress? homesick? miss？
want to sleep....but cannot get really in sleep....
contradictions......

sleep W@lk

when sleep, our brain should hundred percent in rest
that only can consider really sleep in deep
but sometimes the thing that we keep repeated in our mind
there will be a strong spirit can influence our sleep
even can hypothesis we do the thing that cannot happen in the real
is just a dream that really happened but without realize of the owner
a somnambulist did the thing without realize in their dream
may be something that cannot and not dare to do when in normal
when in dream everything is different...
because is dream they dare to do everything without scare...
as long as can realize it even in the dream...
they are somnambulating to complete the dream they cannot realize
if all they did is not against the legal is still acceptable
but still unbelievable in this....
how come this all can happened without realize by the owner....
unbelievable ~~~
may be the owner is too tired.....
is just like talk in dream and after dream cannot remember the dream at all
just the surrounding people is know the dream but not the owner.....

Arbitrary

arbitrarily~~~
how many people can really did this
most of the time we cannot do that
because of rational thinking make us hesitation
hovering at the crossroads, either is heart or rational
suddenly feel want to do something
but before do that i know the ending is get scolded
even is know what is going to happen but i still choose to do that
even is a small case i also don't rather to against the feel of my heart
arbitrarily, is so simple....just follow the heart...do when think want to do so...

SimPle

SIMPLE a word that everyone know
is that everyone know the real means it
many of us is chasing the "simple" life
actually we already have it
but we are adding others to decorate our life
without that all we still can live in happy
simple life....
the simple is the thing the harder for us to achieve
because the simple that we think is not that simple
most of the time we misunderstand the means of simple
just like....
a child is always unhappy even every substance that he want his parent can buy to him
but what actually needed him from his parent is just the care from them not all the material
may be just a sentences of care on him like "how was you today in school?"
is that very hard to get? hard to achieve?
yes may be..because some of them think that is not the care and not important
but for him is the most caring that he wanted from his parent rather than get all the substance that his parent buy to him...
simple...
life can be so simple, satisfied with what you have now....
because the things you have now is the simple that others wishing for long and never get before...appreciate with what we have now
the simple is it, the hardest it to achieve....

White H@ir

white hair?why they all come again?
oh...just realize is the season they come and visit
a lot of mission to cover and rushing to complete
there is a lot of things happened in order to overcome
problem of water resist, emotion control, and a lot......
rushing, rushing, rushing,thinking, thinking, thinking...
there is nothing except rushing and thinking for recently
but now all done just left to complete the 3 stages of the final war
suddenly slow down the step and fresh back
lifestyle is indescribably.....
inside the brain memory is try to get know how to overcome them
is like fantastic is almost like impossible and unbelievable how to across it
because of their visit start to slow down the step and look back the past
they prove that all this is really happen in a short while
are they the sign of knowledge from experiences?
are they sign of the mind getting mature?
are they signal of the brain is tired on working and thinking?
are they the sign of age getting old?
but for sure is after complete the 3 stages of the last war they will go

W@T3r

water resist for four days and going to be fifth day
without water all the life activities is problem
no water for shower, wash clothes, flush toilet,cook......
food that sold is use the dirty water and can bring stomach pain
toilet is smelly and dirty with the small flies everywhere
everyone is searching for the water even is dirty they all still fight for it
how important it to us without it we cannot survive
headache for searching the water.....
even get fuel also want to shower under the rain...
rain can help clean the dirty environment....
even can help to clean up and cool down the mind....
hoping there is a heavy rain.....

Passengers

a bus driver will drive bus to his destination
when across every station along the trip
there are passengers to come in and go out from the bus
once they reach their station they must leave
there is no reason for stop them to go out from the bus
they are just one of the passengers in bus
everyone is moving toward their journey
at first for sure the driver will be sad and emotional
because they is the care build between when the trip
but at last they understand they are just the passenger
which is decide to come in and out the bus
there is no way to stop and maintain the same people in the bus
because the destination is different in between
the driver have his own destination and he have to follow his journey
no more emotional on the passengers that come in and out
because they all just the stranger that decide to come in to colour on his journey

fear factor

challenge ourselves critical
challenge your heart critical
challenge your brave critical
dare or not you accept the challenges?
dare or not you challenge your critical?
against the legal of the human?
against the legal of the role?
against the feel of scare in your heart?
crazy thing for others view point
may be is unacceptable for the normal of us
but that one is really advance to join in
a lot of heart attack in join in the advance trip
is like in a war that try to avoid the enemy
anytime you are in tension and stress for the situation
observe the enemy is that come near to attack you ....
fear factor...heart attack....challenge your critical....

be the real

in a human body
there is living with 2 person
one is heart which is the devil
another is mind which is the angel
most of the time we are the angel followers
we live under stress and tensional ourselves
if there is once awhile we be devil also not bad
we can try stand in this two characters
find the real of ourselves
because no one is the follower forever
start in others character to look at ourselves
the same thing not only have one way to view on it
may the way is most people followed
but this not means that is the best for us
the best is not decide by others but ourselves
be the real of ourselves~~~

forget and forgive

before come to this ending
is already inform and warning
given the chance to choose the ending
but still want to try and challenge
that is call dug grave for own use
forgive or forget?
forget and forgive is link one another
once forget means is not in the memory
not important because only a stranger in life
ask forgive means forget about
because of forget only can be forgive
forget about the hurt and wound is there
there is the forgive because you are stranger

Thinking

still thinking

thinking about something
something that not yet decide
not yet get the final answer
still standing
standing at the junction
don't know which direction to go
either heart or mind
is not the time yet to get answer
is need a long time to do analysis
is not yet the critical to make the change?
thinking~~~

crack on a glass

a perfect glass that never be use
even want to show others also not dare
how important it in the owner heart
but now?
it was crack and no longer the perfect
still cannot believe what is happened in
the heart is not accepted on it
the hand is hurt because want to protect it
they are pain when holding on it
the glass was crack is no longer a perfect
every time look at it still cannot believe is was true
is just like a dream~~~
but the wound on the hand is telling the owner is was true
when touch on the wound, the painful is recall back all the memory
it was not a dream....
look at the wound and touch on it pain~~~
the owner think.....is time to wake up and make decision

Wound

after all the willfulness and stubborn
indulgence myself for an hour
dream myself in sad for few day
even all the test is not did well
and then face the pain and hard
the thing i most scare in my life
is that all enough for me to recover?

the hand now is paralysis since yesterday
is feel like is not belong to me and not my hand
is was not painful like yesterday
the small wound prove me yesterday was happened
when touch on it is still pain harder
it call back all my memory that all happened is so clear
that all is was not a dream and it really happened just......
may be my mind is not believe on it and try to lie to myself

my life here is like numb, lose, and confused
its make me is different from the real of myself
lose of direction, everything is so mess and uncontrollable
the wound remind me everything that i am not accepted yet
is just like a dream~~~~
should be the time to wake up and make decision

F@ce

even if the time turn back to the past
i will still choosing on this decision
indulgence a day on myself
to forget all the unhappy recently
to give a day of holiday to myself
to far away from everyone and stay alone
to bring back to the neutral point of mine
start again my weighbridge with the origin
i will never regret on choosing this decision
even the fact i have to face the thing i most scare
i still face it alone with brave without anyone
even is pain and hard to face the things that i scare
but i am still not regret on choosing it
indulgence a day on myself, give a day holiday to myself

willfulness & stubborn

some of us stubborn in some beliefs
determinate in believing we change it
stubborn in believe on a lie
stubborn in believe on a person
stubborn in believe on a promise
stubborn in believe a magic
stubborn in believe a return
all this is the willfulness and stubborn in ourselves

when time reach, we should wake up from our dream
stop to continue our stubborn and willfulness
and look toward the realistic and accept it
learn from the past of ourselves and be the new of ourselves
thank to who make us stubborn in believing and willfulness
because of you all we learn to accept and mature
thank to those who with the side of us
when we are stubborn and willfulness to do the crazy

Rain Make the Change

over~~~
is just like everything going to be over soon
after complete one of the heaviest mission of cover
the feel is indescribable just like
flying in sky crashing with the wind
sliding down from the rainbow bridge
playing and chasing with the rain
everything is so nice
the sky after the rain is no longer dark
the earth after the rain is so clean
the air after the rain is so fresh
the wind after the rain is so cool
the sun after the rain is not hidden and shy
all is because of the rain make the change
it change the world was so beautiful
even the rainbow also come and join their happy
thanks to the rain that bring the happy back to all

Natural Disasters

surprise are always come nearer
is just like the change in natural
there is unpredicted and uncontrollable
even we have the technology to sense it
but there might be get the correct or wrong
may be correct but is not the exact time
may be wrong places but at the correct time
all this is uncontrollable is just like the natural disasters
earth quick, tsunami, tornado, volcanic eruptions, floods, landslides...
all this is unpredicted and cannot even avoid from this...
it might attack to us suddenly or might forbearance for long
at last its is forcing to the critical point.....

Mission of Cover & RecoVer

having a mission now are urgent

"cover & recover"

cover is not only the physical but mentality
cover and carry all the burden and must be solve
in physically, set a time to ourselves give a limited time to achieve the mission target
in mentality, hypnotize our mind and spirit to have a belief to ourselves to success our mission


recover is not yet the time
after all the burden is put down
that is the time to recover and repair ourselves
even that is a lot of disadvantages
but that is the only way that can use for now
after all over must have a long recover holiday that no relate everything here
now the mind, energy, time, spirit and everything is prepare and give to achieve the first mission COVER

time to chaNGE

day by day pass
event by event is over
this all bring us have a change
might be good might be not
but this all is not important
the important is we are survive
survive and mix with the environment surrounding
there is a time for us to recalled back our mind
and set out our target and make the changes
no matter is change to good or bad
is because of the environment we change and to survive
every second is a start to have a change
change to is non-stop until we get the best solution to survive
IS TIME TO CHANGE!!

Hom3

a place that 378 km from my location now
a place that need 4 hours and 45 minutes to travel there

a place that i live for so long since i am young
there is a lot a thing that i cannot be forget
there is the place that got the people important to me
my family, my friends, my dog, even the real of myself
i miss them always but recently is much more than normal
even is almost the time to go back to meet them
but the feel of miss them is never stop but increasing
especially when the situation like now
even i am is preparation on the final war and stress
but i know you all are always they and support me in my heart
even some of time i am tired but because of you all i will fight
i won't be give up and will serious fight until the end
thanks to those who are always be an audience and listen to me
thanks to those who never say no to me when i m helpless and hopeless
thanks to those who are done everything because want to protect me from hurt
suddenly feel very miss you all again and feel want to home~~

April fool's joke

first of April = April fool
a day to have a joke with others
a lot of thing happen and change on today

there is people who born on today
but others are untrusted to them when they told
that only can be look as a lie by others on April fools
even they are sincerely tell and share with others
but the return is just a untrusted by others
some even promote this and make a joke to others
is that everything can be make a joke and promote?
there is a funny for who go and show their weakness
is like an entertainment and a joke for others to laugh at
sadness to the one who show at the improper day

even the officer of management also play with this
oh god~~
don't ever know what is the words use to describe anymore
ya suppose is not angry because of this because is April fool
but is that every joke are suitable to tell?
if the joke is not bring a lot of size effect and really are funny is ok
but there will be an unintentional hurt and convenience to others
even is unintentional but there is still the pain and uncomfortable