Discover the rainbow after the rain

recalled back every yesterday,
live peaceful through every today,
fantasy every tomorrow




















I found that life can be so simple, and so complicated
Important is what the heart is willing, followed the step of it
no matter what is the final result, at least never regret to the choice even there might be happiness, madness, sadness, tough, and suffering......
this is not a torture, but a process of growing
thanks to those had attended in my life and added a beautiful rainbow memory in my diary of life
even though there might be thunderstorm days, but this make me more cherish the rainbow after the rain

Caterpillar's day

today i am a caterpillar
i am not going to do anything for today
wake up in the morning brush and wash the clothes
the weather very cool, i am back to my warm bed
continuous wrapped myself tight in the blanket
start again hibernating caterpillar time~~~
no bother anything, even take meals also lazy
like this enjoy my lazy caterpillar's day=indulgence day~~~

slowly become Habit

sunrise sunset everyday
time flow like waterfall without turning back
without realizing I' m used to everything new at here
without realizing our friendship already so many years
without realizing you all already change my viewing point
Suddenly i found that all without realizing become my habit
staying in the room when there is no class
waiting call and hang on call with you all
willing to meet you guys and together with you all
all this is so used to me and become my habit
time that me realize already to late for change just like drunk
the feel that don't want to change if suddenly change will be feel uncomfortable

used = a part of ours

today very tired again look outside from the window
only got the light and the darkness who with me
all the thing seen like only special for me a person, only for me
no matter the light who is opened and the darkness sky


i used to be stay in room, stay in my own world and enjoy myself
something is hard to change, even change also not one or 2 days can be done
some person to us, we used to be depended on them
some lifestyle to us, we used to be at certain situation
some face of us, we used to be show to certain people
some thing to us, we totally a part of ours cannot be remove
that is the memory that we have and used to be with it
they become a part of our lifestyle even can said a part of us
without them, it might not to consider a complete of us

Lazy Day

weather hot and stuffy
tired, mood less and sleepy
feel don't want to do anything
spinning left and right on bed
sleepy but cannot get in sleep
argh~~~~
all this is because of the weather fault
never mind.....kekeke


let me catch the chance and reason to be lazy for one day
more laziness, more happiness, less problem to think
today i let myself to willful laziness for one day
let mind rest for one day, let body rest for one day
let mood to take one whole day leave

~~~enjoy my Lazy Day~~~

Peaceful day

thought is a messy day start from miss bus case today
but now think back should be best thing to me
is a peaceful and quite day for me to be work alone
this is today progress success make 3 moulds still need another 9















own things must do by own self even is how hard is it
rely and depend people help only will fail ourselves
but create a chance to bring success to others
throw away the minded once fail forever will be loser



















this is the machine that make me injured but today i can drive and fully use on it i like and wish no one will noisy me!!! (today i m alone) kekeke~~~

discovery......lucky?unlucky?

don't know is lucky or unlucky?
my finger was injured in the accident
now i should say great fortune of misfortune in it!
the unfortunately is the accident cause i can't progress on my work
but the lucky is the injured is not so serious until my finger broken
for this incident, i investigated that the people surrounding worried about me so much
thanks for all who care of me and sorry about to make you worried so
i will try my best to protect myself and avoid myself from getting injury again

in this incident, i found out another different of myself. I discovered that i cannot see myself injury and i cannot see my own bloody. Even when the incident happened, i still can calm down and solve it until the end. But then when thing is solved, i would have the feel of faint and like over tired which have the feel want to fall asleep so.It is the same as the situation after i took injection, i will feel the same thing also.

is that because the blood suddenly loss from my body system? the lack of oxygen cause me faint?is that because i cannot believe that i will injury and i m bleeding?

i don't know is that the reason cause me faint so......
but i will take good care of myself and never let this face of myself appear again
i don't want to get injury, don't want bleeding, don't want to faint and don't want people surrounding worry about me anymore....
i won't again let this "weak" of myself appear again........NO NO NO

Metal Casting (Pattern Making)

how were i today? still down?
just can be describe in one word "lucky"
thing run on schedule so
unlucky and mood-less yesterday away so
lucky everything bad thing is away for me
if not i can't imagery what happened to my finger so
even now is get hurt a bit but no matter how still luck
if not sure i lost it or getting big wrap plaster on it

this is what i have done today (come back already 6:30pm skip jogging)
look like recently is what i wrote here is like diary
just report and write down what i have done

PEkan Hostel

a bit down today seem like everything running wrong
a bit dislike to myself may be emotional so today
may be again under stress so even first day
later have to investigate the problem cause
and find out the solution to throw away this moodless

today my psm progress totally dissapointed
i didn't nothing over there today and tomorrow need to rush
today go there only sit sit and listen the explanation for 20 minutes
then i found that a lot of thing that i done in psm 1 is totally not enough
this cause me hard in run the experiment so and need to redo all the paper work later
besides that is a news don't know is good or bad for me
"next week whole week lab is close" so again have to sit and do nothing at here
but i plan to do the paper work on that week
so even the experiment is not run but i know what should do so
hopefully can be done everything as the target state and can go home take a real rest

here is some pictures that i took today about the almost complete look of the pekan hostel
(like this only can said 70%, last time one hard to make others believe so)
there is the electric ready because i saw the fan in room is switch on
water i don't know la...cannot go in but then the size room should consider small a bit but for 2 people one room still consider acceptable















complete painted outlook new hostel pekan and with the tree is planted but still got a lot of part is not complete only can said 70 %






















this is the size of room the nearest to bus stop

Mashimaro and piggy with me

again only the mashimaro and piggy with me
even roommate is back but they busy with their work
one got class whole day for short semester (nancy)
one got lab to do for psm so whole day not here also ( sharon)
left me alone stay here room.....
















today i didn't really do anything so
just check out the timetable for bus schedule
then make a call to book for lab
evening jogging for 15minute finish one round

tomorrow is the new begin of my busy life
time only can pass fast and help me avoid the lonely feel
lonely feel that sitting alone in room for nothing
target lock : fyp perfect report, fyp experiment, jogging

New Fresh Environment

recently the weather here is damn hot
lucky today rain heavy but i fail to get nap so
the rain wash ground and reduce the hot temperature
now is the new and fresh environment
even is new but there is no one sharing this
never mind take it only special for me
treat it as a new begin and new target for me

target and mission:
a. run experiment psm
b. do report psm
c. jogging regularly
d. say "NO" to coffee,tea,Maggi
e. have a steamboat with roommates
f. have a memorable picture of roommates
g. make a last outing this semester with my roommates for 3 years

St@y up Late Night

again stay up late at night, is no longer that the number that can count

the sun just rise, suddenly felt as want a shoulder to lend on, but i know that is impossible to ask others lend a shoulder during this period. I realize that the reality does not allow me to self-wiled. this make me felt want to get some concerned from others to make me felt not lonely and no longer fight in a person. The vulnerable and afraid feel make me felt hate to myself which is totally different from the usual of myself.












pick up the phone, i just realize there is few people that could i to contact so. No one is willing my call, no one is sacrificed time from sweet dream to listen to me. Feel so pity to myself, the full list of the contact in the photo book is just like that. Finally, i phone the closest person to me------my mother.

~~~~BEEP~~~~BEEP~~~~BEEP~~~~

no one even pick.......my last hope is vanished in the air the same time. I forced to face the reality and continue memorize all the words that show in front of my laptop screen. I keep forcing myselg to fulfill with as much as i could in the brain. Tired~~tired~~~i m really tired~~~but keep forcing myself not to fall asleep and once again i try to press on the button and call to the same number.












The time that i again feel disappointing and thought want to hang up so, there is respond from another side. The voice from mum is warmed and calmed my heart. The nagging from her, the greeting from her, the concern from her totally fulfill my loneliness in my heart. This cause me no longer scare, no longer vulnerable, no longer panic, no longer hesitation. I lead to brave and face my own vulnerability~~~~

Leave HIM

every time i told myself, next time i will be take more efforts
but there is again unlimited next time i give to myself
is that i try to avoid so?or i don't want to change at all?
may be is because i used to be, so i m lazy on make a change
at last today i got the determination for no next time for myself
but is this is the last time, today is the last time....
don't know why suddenly i seemed not willing to do so
is just like something important going to disappear in my life so
is that because he always in my life since the beginning?
i already used to spend my time with him
feel sad because he no longer take part in my life but i said to myself

"tomorrow will be better even without him take part in my life, i can still live in happy!"











PS:Thought want to have my second last cup of coffee just now, whose knows my laptop rebut with me. At last, he bath with coffee which can smoother his skin and i need to use hairdryer to help him dry his body so....(T.T)

Peaceful sleep

hot~~~hot~~~hot~~~
the weather was hot recently
this indirectly influence on my mood so
the environmental create a worst situation
even is sitting without doing anything still sweating
hot~~~hot~~~hot~~~
today i nap for 4 hours so very sufficient so
yesterday slept late and whole day tired reading articles
this morning cant sleep late so, weather hot~~~mp3 loud~~
lucky just now there was a rain
a rain that create a well environment and good condition
never sleep so well before this 3 weeks~~~
cold condition no noise....no disturb call.....no mp3 no guitar....
everything run smooth and peaceful.....nice sleep
after awake from sleep i know that must be another spirit
study on my exam so....nice weather but i no longer sleepy so...
sleep perfect enough, perfect peaceful without disturb so...
no headache, eat fully, high spirit to study so~~~gambateh!!

The day after tomorrow

now my mood already totally just like the feel
" the day after tomorrow"
since most of the comment hear from others all is negative
how m i going to survive for tomorrow?
even i got the confidence to myself....but may be is not enough so
the feel of unsafe that deep inside is not away yet
now i m search for the light in the darkness
which can prove to the "yes and success"
waiting for the sun to come tomorrow~~~

rainbow after the RAIn

one semester going to be end soon
the whole semester can be simplified as one word

-------------"BITTER"---------------

the inverse sleeping is no longer a big problem
everyday take 2 hours waste for sitting bus no problem
the homework is heavy is no longer the problem
all over going to be end soon
just like i can see the rainbow after the rain
the ground being wash and everything become fresh and new
being overcome all this let me understand the bottom line of myself
i m no longer the previous surface limit point that i found last time
i m no longer to complain and not to sigh
what want to scold, to tell,to criticize, to do is finished
cannot make a change to others, then only choice is to accept
accept their ugliest face because i believe i have it also
what m i for now, i know........
know to adapt life, know to face pressure in life
i learn to face problem, to solve problem
this semester let me know even clear more about myself
i discover new own of myself

Kung Fu Panda

time is not stop for me
my body is in tired but force to face
my mentality is stressing but still have to smile
life make me feel helpless and cannot avoid
i m think how m i going to overcome the this week
all test, project, assignment, presentation this week
time not enough for me to solve all the task above
don't ever think about sleep for this week......
i think we all going to transform into Ultimate
no matter how short of range the time is we still have to solve it
there is no excuse and no reason is acceptable
we must do it~~~
after this week i can ever count how many human transform become "Kung Fu Panda"

Responsibility

look at myself in the mirror
suddenly catch back the time i m young
i can be carefree, i can be innocence, i can run anywhere i like
i can laugh loudly when i happy and can cry loudly when i m sad
life for me that time was so simple
suddenly very miss to how I'm for that time

back to reality now what m i be out of the mirror
can't believe how was am i for now
is environment change me?is time change me? is situation?
a bit sad to see how am i for now
is this all is the punishment give me because i m naughty when i m young?
what i looking forward now all is left me
happy is no longer with me always
time is not allow me to willfulness anymore
even smile also become reluctantly
even sad also don't know to how to cry
everything is no longer used as previous

the occurrence of various forcing me to grow up and forced me not to escape
suddenly I'm grow up and i know that is responsibility
no matter how i dislike and don't want, i still have to face and complete it~~~

sad~~~
look like again "coffee" and "the night-sky"accompany me again to do homework

Suffering

look at others people study they are so relax
but for our faculty is never happened so
since the first semester until now i never get feel any relax at all
all the time the homework is heavy even our credit hours even is 16 to 17
but for us there is plenty of homework run after homework waiting us
normally the most suffer time is the one month before semester end

now is the time

we are suffering for 21 credit hours
every week lab report is not less than 4
test come after test, project after project

OMG

i don't ever how can i still alive until now
for the following week will be packing fully
with the psm, assignment, project due date
wish all the thing after i still alive and not get in sick later so

I'm a Princess

i m a princess
but what a rude and abnormal princess m i
i always do things against and different from others people
yesterday is one of the most peaceful birthday i even had
there is the present ready by my current roommate and future roommate for me

yet there is still got one big and special present give by my Coming roommate
OMG
cannot be...this is totally a shock present for me
a news that for me is just like the day after tomorrow
(sorry ya roommate, i have to say it here if not there is no place to release the stress so)
but anywhere is best she told me early and let us try to solve it early
i don't like people to control and plan for me the same i don't like to control and plan for others also
cause "i m a princess"