eat, sleep, working......

what is doing everyday?
eat, sleep, working......
such a simple thing but it was tiring
no any personal time, freedom, space
since like leaving the unhappy house come to new house not much changed
don't want to live like that anymore without meaning, without time, without aim
is sick now, thought for whole night finally i decide to let myself indulgence for last today
let sick getting serious, let willfulness and coddles myself for one more day
tomorrow will never waste life and never wait for the coming same of myself for tomorrow














don't want waiting for the same tomorrow come, want to create another new, fresh and advance unknown tomorrow that waiting for me

Raining day

a raining day~~~
for the first time i saw the speed of the rain
look far and thought can be avoid from it
but then without few second its catch out me
no matter how i speeding still useless
suddenly found i m so stupid and don't understand so why should i run faster so
fate want it to come no matter how we avoid it still will be come to us so
why don't we unrestrained and enjoy in the agony and happiness on it
let the rain hit on the face, let the rain to water our body
let the rain to wash our brain, let the rain bring over all the unhappy
let everything come and go naturally~~~














*i observed rain came from the gate of school within few second already reach to my room

used = a part of ours

today very tired again look outside from the window
only got the light and the darkness who with me
all the thing seen like only special for me a person, only for me
no matter the light who is opened and the darkness sky


i used to be stay in room, stay in my own world and enjoy myself
something is hard to change, even change also not one or 2 days can be done
some person to us, we used to be depended on them
some lifestyle to us, we used to be at certain situation
some face of us, we used to be show to certain people
some thing to us, we totally a part of ours cannot be remove
that is the memory that we have and used to be with it
they become a part of our lifestyle even can said a part of us
without them, it might not to consider a complete of us

Home

few day before the heart like lost of somethings
and i don't know the reason for me to be mood-less
now is totally know so the reason because it is fulfill now
i miss home~~i miss johnny~~i miss family~~
even i know should be tired to sit bus for long journey
even i know come back i will be like in maid's life for one week
even i know a lot of job and task is waiting for me to solve
even i know confirm there are a lot of scold because of my finger injured
but i still rather to come back and accept all this challenge and this is my life
feel comfortable to be home now....













*this is the new family member girl girl puppy~~

Insomnia

recently my physical and mentality keep complaining to me
they are showing emotion to me that they were unsatisfied
i know they are tiring work with those endless work
feel sorry to them, but i force to do so to them

















yesterday again they are work for whole day never switch off
by the time i want to off the power, they are emotion again
light is off, lying on the bed, preparing to rest....but fail
may be they work over limit and uncontrollable already
lastly just trance on the bed without the light
the mind is first time empty in recently
i was over a sleepless night with stare blankly

Wind is me, I AM wind

i come like a wind
you cannot stop me
you cannot get tied me
you cannot get catch me
you cannot even follow up my step

i go like the wind
don't know where i will go next
don't know when i will go away
don't know which direction i will go
don't know what is the next going to do

i am a wind
that no one can guess me
that no one can stop me
that no one can control me
that living free and wild in this world....

Like, Easy; Accustom, N0t EasY

Like a person is easy but not easy for a person accustomed
the feel of like can be temporary or long-term is depend
accustom is a long-term and without time limited
usually like is because of good of the person so we like
but for accustom is we usual to and accept the weakness of the person
different type of people chasing different feel in their life
some is chasing the feel of heart shock for a short period by like or love
some is chasing the feel of safe that bring by accustomed
is same like some is willing to have a vigorous and advance relation like the XO
some is rather to have a steady and longer relation like the water....

VS

is air? NONONO, not even anything...

not necessarily people we meet everyday, we are knowing them
is just like people know me, but not means i must know them
some is we knows each others but is cannot consider as friend at all

the situation is very simply, let look at the example below~~~

There must be same people, same time, same bus stop waiting for the bus everyday. They all are passenger of the bus and they are familiar with the face of each others. Yet, they never knows each others and they never have any communication in between at all.

Another case is others knows to us but we don't ever know who are them? In another words of explanation is we know there is a person in surrounding us, but we are the two person that no relation at all.

The last one is the funniest case. We know each others but is not consider and not qualified to call as friend at all. They even worse than the passengers in the first case, even their behavior or what they do in, just like the nothing and don't want to care at all. Felt like if told also waste the saliva, even hate their behavior also felt redundant, if angry also felt dumber and no energy, even look at them also will feel like no difference of looking at the air (see nothing)

D@zed

like the feel of stay alone quietly in the dead of the night
alone leave the dank room and walk around breath the fresh air
blowing by the cold air, looking at the stars and the moon
silently looking to the sky without thinking, without doing anything
just like this sit quietly and dazed for a period of time
only one person to enjoy in the dead night, only dead night for mine

Is yours, its won't away

is yours won't be away from you
things use to throw everywhere
but lucky every time is found
even cannot get find it for the urgent time
or may be quite a long time missing
but at last its come back to you again
if it is yours for sure its won't away
may be just hiding to let you nervous
if not belong to you the things
no matter how tied how careful you want to keep it
it sure got the way to away from you
things lost, things found
is yours won't run, if not your tied it also will lost

no need to count petal
is yours, won't be run away
not yours, you won't get tied

SHIp or MotOrboat

2 type of human can separate to in this case:

first, people who live in group
they are sitting in a big ship that always connected
they are live in the relation and care about each others
they are dependent to each others is just like the plant
it will dry and die if its live without water and sun

second, people who live independent
they are wishing to drive their own motorboat travel around
they are uncontrollable, stubborn and self-willed
they are independent and you cannot catch it all the time
its just like the wind, where it wish it will come and go without informing

not everyone can live in both condition.
which type of person are you? Ship Or Motorboat?

My Bowl

a broken mirror really can restore?
somethings will never return when we lost it
even it can be recover or repair but is no longer appearance like the original face
may be because of cannot have it again or not belong to us anymore
there is dismay and regret in the heart forever
it can only miss it and appear in the memory~~~

"my bowl"

sad....study life without mamee for temporary

Impulse

a type of power that keeping inside the heart
its burning slowly until become a raging fire
most of the time we are thinking a lot before action
we are consider a lot of concerns in making decision and do something
because of the action above, we lost the impulse to do so
we might miss something that is important and even change in our life
that is why a lot of people is telling the truth after they drunk
may be they scare to face and scare to tell so they choose to drunk and tell
if there is a urge in your heart and calling you to do
just go ahead and follow what the sound that come from your heart
do not worry and thinking so much on it
sometimes we need to back to the naive child character
do anything that they wish to on the sport
if you are taking the way of an adult to make decision
actually the much you think the harder that you in making decision or choices

Life is short and enjoy it

we live is not for others but for our own
life is short and we must enjoy all the time in our life
there is nothing that we need to care about beside ourselves
there is no one more love to ourselves if we don't do so
there is nothing important from others opinion
the most important is ourselves feeling and our heart
if we against the heart and listen to others
there is no longer the real of ourselves and not the real of us
life is short, live happy and enjoy all the time that we have
ignore and neglect others opinion and even critique to us
learn to love ourselves and protect ourselves more
before we going to love and protect others
life is our own, so live happy and enjoy the time for ourselves not for others

Arbitrary

arbitrarily~~~
how many people can really did this
most of the time we cannot do that
because of rational thinking make us hesitation
hovering at the crossroads, either is heart or rational
suddenly feel want to do something
but before do that i know the ending is get scolded
even is know what is going to happen but i still choose to do that
even is a small case i also don't rather to against the feel of my heart
arbitrarily, is so simple....just follow the heart...do when think want to do so...

SimPle

SIMPLE a word that everyone know
is that everyone know the real means it
many of us is chasing the "simple" life
actually we already have it
but we are adding others to decorate our life
without that all we still can live in happy
simple life....
the simple is the thing the harder for us to achieve
because the simple that we think is not that simple
most of the time we misunderstand the means of simple
just like....
a child is always unhappy even every substance that he want his parent can buy to him
but what actually needed him from his parent is just the care from them not all the material
may be just a sentences of care on him like "how was you today in school?"
is that very hard to get? hard to achieve?
yes may be..because some of them think that is not the care and not important
but for him is the most caring that he wanted from his parent rather than get all the substance that his parent buy to him...
simple...
life can be so simple, satisfied with what you have now....
because the things you have now is the simple that others wishing for long and never get before...appreciate with what we have now
the simple is it, the hardest it to achieve....

White H@ir

white hair?why they all come again?
oh...just realize is the season they come and visit
a lot of mission to cover and rushing to complete
there is a lot of things happened in order to overcome
problem of water resist, emotion control, and a lot......
rushing, rushing, rushing,thinking, thinking, thinking...
there is nothing except rushing and thinking for recently
but now all done just left to complete the 3 stages of the final war
suddenly slow down the step and fresh back
lifestyle is indescribably.....
inside the brain memory is try to get know how to overcome them
is like fantastic is almost like impossible and unbelievable how to across it
because of their visit start to slow down the step and look back the past
they prove that all this is really happen in a short while
are they the sign of knowledge from experiences?
are they sign of the mind getting mature?
are they signal of the brain is tired on working and thinking?
are they the sign of age getting old?
but for sure is after complete the 3 stages of the last war they will go

W@T3r

water resist for four days and going to be fifth day
without water all the life activities is problem
no water for shower, wash clothes, flush toilet,cook......
food that sold is use the dirty water and can bring stomach pain
toilet is smelly and dirty with the small flies everywhere
everyone is searching for the water even is dirty they all still fight for it
how important it to us without it we cannot survive
headache for searching the water.....
even get fuel also want to shower under the rain...
rain can help clean the dirty environment....
even can help to clean up and cool down the mind....
hoping there is a heavy rain.....

crack on a glass

a perfect glass that never be use
even want to show others also not dare
how important it in the owner heart
but now?
it was crack and no longer the perfect
still cannot believe what is happened in
the heart is not accepted on it
the hand is hurt because want to protect it
they are pain when holding on it
the glass was crack is no longer a perfect
every time look at it still cannot believe is was true
is just like a dream~~~
but the wound on the hand is telling the owner is was true
when touch on the wound, the painful is recall back all the memory
it was not a dream....
look at the wound and touch on it pain~~~
the owner think.....is time to wake up and make decision

Mission of Cover & RecoVer

having a mission now are urgent

"cover & recover"

cover is not only the physical but mentality
cover and carry all the burden and must be solve
in physically, set a time to ourselves give a limited time to achieve the mission target
in mentality, hypnotize our mind and spirit to have a belief to ourselves to success our mission


recover is not yet the time
after all the burden is put down
that is the time to recover and repair ourselves
even that is a lot of disadvantages
but that is the only way that can use for now
after all over must have a long recover holiday that no relate everything here
now the mind, energy, time, spirit and everything is prepare and give to achieve the first mission COVER